


Ghosts

by shannyfish



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Christmas, Christmas Party, Christmas Tree, Comfort/Angst, Dream Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Foundry, Gen, Inspired by A Christmas Carol, Post Episode 03x09 The Climb, Sad, Team Arrow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-02 07:38:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2804693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shannyfish/pseuds/shannyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place after "The Climb".  </p><p>Oliver experiences a past Christmas, time right before "The Climb", present Christmas(time), and a future one...trying to think about what's really worth living.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully the Nick character makes sense! Let me know if you're confused!

“Ever since I met you, no one else has been worth thinking about.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Christmas 2005

 

“Seriously, Man! I can’t believe that you’re here!” 

Oliver smiled, but couldn’t remember who the guy was. He was the only one that was wearing one of those ‘Hello. My name is’ name tags, which he thought was weird…apparently his name was Nick, though. So far, Nick seemed like a good guy, mainly because he seemed to be the host of the badass party that he was currently walking into. The place was amazing. There was a DJ, the lighting was good, it looked like a full bar was along one wall, snacks, and scantily clad girls as far as the eye could see and he was fairly sure that they were all already drunk. 

He was late.

This was definitely perfect timing.

He was Oliver Queen.

He could have any woman he wanted in that place.

Laurel.

Oliver shook the thought of her out of his head. 

Laurel Lance was his long term girlfriend from high school, on and off again. They’d known each other all of their lives. It wasn’t like there hadn’t been other women. There had. Oliver had dated women. Well, dated wasn’t actually the right word. Laurel really had been the one steady girl in his life and in his arsenal of women. Every other woman was just a fling…a one night stand…just a tally in his long list of women that he’d slept with. None of them were ever long lasting relationships, he really couldn’t even consider Laurel really among them because he wasn’t exactly serious about it. 

“Can I get you a drink?” Nick asked.

Oliver nodded and then gave Nick his drink order. He patted Nick’s shoulder. “I’m going to see if I know anyone here,” Oliver told him. What he really meant was that he needed to go and see if there were any girls that caught his interest. Of course, right now…there were a lot of girls that were already catching his attention. 

He could have any of them.

He was Oliver Queen.

Oliver knew that he didn’t even need to choose. 

It was a bit ridiculous at how easy it was for him to get women to remove their clothes and have sex with him. He only had to look in their direction, he didn’t even have to remember their name five minutes later. He was a prince in this world and he knew how to flaunt his power. 

He moved towards one girl in particular. She had long dark hair, bright green eyes, and a neon pink dress that barely kept her breasts contained, it was obvious that there was no bra under the thin material, let alone seemed long enough to cover the rest of her. 

“Hi,” he greeted.

She grinned back at him, her bright white teeth showing, as she twirled a few strands of hair. “Hi, yourself.”

“I’m Oliver Queen.”

“Oh, everyone here knows exactly who you are.”

And he knew that.

It was something that Oliver took advantage of on pretty much a minute by minute basis. Tonight was not unlike any other night. He spent the whole night with his hand up various girls’ skirts, unzipping zippers, or taking a breather by having a quick drink. So far the night was going perfectly. No one had asked for his number and no one had expected some kind of further commitment. It was all just meaningless sex, which was actually what Oliver excelled at. Connections with no relationships. He was heading to a back bedroom when he was suddenly stopped. 

“Hey Oliver! I think your phone’s the one that’s been ringing off the hook back at the bar!” Nick told him.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Oliver told him with a dismissing wave of his hand.

Nick held up the phone. “Her name’s Laurel.”

“It’s my cousin,” Oliver lied. Everyone knew that his sister was Thea, so that was definitely not a good lie to tell. Plus, it wasn’t likely that anyone would know his cousins, it also still left him available to do what he wanted at that party. So far, it had all been worth it. 

“You sure you don’t want to take it?” 

“Positive.”

Turning around, Oliver headed back towards the bedrooms with the girl he currently had his arm around. This was definitely better than spending the night with Laurel fussing about looking good enough as they spent their evening at one of his parents’ charity events. He’d lied to them and told them that Laurel wasn’t available and then had lied to them telling them that he had a big paper to write that was worth half of his grade. All those lies had brought him to that place and he still felt like it was all well worth it.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Christmas 2014

 

He was cold.

His chest screamed out in pain.

His limbs were heavy.

It was dark.

The last thing he remembered as he lay wherever he was, was something that seemed like it had to be some kind of nightmare. It couldn’t be, though. Oliver remembered being on that mountain top that was supposed to be a neutral location. He remembered taking off his jacket and his shirt. He remembered choosing his weapon. He remembered facing Ra’s al Ghul.

He’d lost.

Oliver Queen had lost to Ra’s al Ghul.

He’d done it for Thea.

He’d done it to keep those he loved safe.

Felicity.

She was safe.

They all were.

His ‘death’ should have seen to that.

Did Ra’s know he was alive?

Where was he?

WAS he alive?

Oliver vividly remembered Ra’s disarming him. It had seemed so easy for Ra’s. Oliver had been fighting for his life, but mostly for the lives that could perish if he hadn’t presented himself. He had wanted to return back to Starling City, to Thea, and to Felicity… Oliver remembered the blade slicing his left side and then entering his body via his upper abdomen on the right. The blade had been removed from his body, stained in his blood. He’d seen the people that he loved most in that world flash before his eyes right before Ra’s had pushed him off of that snowy mountain top.

As he stared upward, he wondered if he was at the bottom of that mountain. Was he somehow just barely clinging to life? It was dark, but there were no stars. There should be stars, Oliver thought, as he continued to stare up into the dark. 

Maybe he was dead.

He had to be dead.

I’m so sorry, Speedy.

I’m so sorry, Felicity.

I was supposed to come home.

I was supposed to protect you.

I was supposed to protect the city.

I did my best.

It wasn’t good enough.

I have failed you.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Foundry 2014  
(Takes place before right before “The Climb”)

 

“How’s living with Thea?”

“Nice,” Oliver replied and took a moment to really think about it. Living with his sister again really wasn’t something that he felt he’d fully processed yet. “Kind of weird…”

Felicity nodded. “At least you’re not sleeping here…so…that’s good,” she told him slowly with a smile. “You’re getting more…sunlight…which I hear is important…”

He loved her smile.

Oliver grinned. “You make it sound like I was holing myself up down here…”

“Well,” Felicity said with a tilt of her head. “Going out solely at night just seems creepy…or makes you a vampire…or you know, pasty…” She shook her head disapprovingly. “I really can’t have you pasty… You need sunlight. It’s for your own good.” Her eyes popped wide and she stared at him for a long moment as if thinking about what she’d just said.

He loved her rambling.

Felicity rambled a lot.

It was adorable.

Somewhere along the way, Oliver had slowly fallen in love with her. There was just something about Felicity that he couldn’t get enough of. It was like he kept finding reasons to fall in love with her. As of lately, though, Oliver felt like he’d completely fallen in love with her. Ever since they’d left Lian Yu, it was like he was free…up until the date. 

Maybe Diggle was right, though. Without Felicity, he wouldn’t be happy. He was like normal people, wasn’t he? Didn’t he deserve happiness? He’d watched her over the past couple of months and…he knew that her working at Palmer Technologies made her happy. All he kept thinking was how happy Felicity had looked at dinner on their date, even though they were both so nervous. It wasn’t just Felicity who had been happy, he’d been over the moon. 

“You’re staring…” Felicity whispered. “And not saying anything.”

He reached out and touched her shoulder lightly. “You stare at me all the time, Felicity,” he reminded as he walked past her and towards the salmon ladder. Oliver looked up at it, trying to keep from staring at her. 

“That’s different,” he heard her say. 

It was different.

Felicity had been staring at him for some time.

Years.

It hadn’t hit him about how he really truly deep down felt about her until sacrificing her to Slade and believing in her like she believed in him. Diggle had seemed to have known all along. It was a little annoying. Oliver had thought a lot about it, though. He’d seen her with Barry and Ray. Both of them, he knew deep down inside, were good choices…but Oliver had longed for her the whole time. In his whole life, it was the only time he’d been truly jealous and scared about how his life might be without the person that might just be his soulmate.

“Isn’t it?” Felicity asked after a moment.

No.

Oliver just smiled.

He loved Felicity Smoak.

“What’s going on?” Roy asked.

Oliver turned around to find not only Roy standing behind Felicity, but another man. He seemed familiar and about the same age as Roy, but Oliver felt like he belonged…but then he was out of place. He opened his mouth, ready to question him. Oliver for some reason didn’t feel like he could place the other man’s name.

“Nick!” Felicity greeted with a bright smile.

“I hope we’re not interrupting,” Nick said as he looked between Felicity and Oliver. “Because Roy and I could go back up the stairs and hang out in Verdant for a while…” 

Roy nodded quickly in agreement.

“Uh… What time is it?” Oliver asked. 

Roy looked at Oliver oddly. “I think we’ve definitely interrupted. We’re going to go… We’ll be back once Digg says it’s all safe.”

Oliver just stared at the two young men as they retreated back towards the stairs and then looked towards Felicity. “What just happened?”

Now Felicity seemed concerned as she looked at him. She got up from her chair and closed the distance between them. She reached out and brushed the back of her hand to his forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”

“I—“

“Oliver?”

He pushed forward a smile. “I was just enjoying our chat was all…” Oliver paused. “I guess I wasn’t ready to share you just yet.”

Felicity smiled and then blushed. She looked down a moment later as she dropped her hand. She moved back to her computer chair and turned away from him.

Awkward.

This was how it always ended.

Ever since she’d begged him to tell her that he didn’t love her…that all of it meant nothing…and he couldn’t. Oliver didn’t want to lie to her. Not to Felicity. The kiss they’d shared in that hospital hallway was something that he thought about every day. Ever since then, it had been awkward. It wasn’t ALWAYS awkward, but when he made a comment about her and they were too close, he could see how she’d physically pull away from him.

He hated it.

He wanted to be close to her.

No matter. 

Oliver still loved Felicity.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Christmas 2028

 

“I want to open the first present!” Madelyn shouted as soon as Oliver and Felicity entered the room. 

He couldn’t contain his smile. It seemed like ever since he and Felicity were married, he hadn’t been able to stop smiling. She made him so happy and the kids (at least most days) made him even happier. Oliver had his arm around Felicity, all of them dressed still in Christmas pajamas, as they made way to their couch. The interior of their home was decorated for both Hanukkah (even though it was over) and Christmas. The holidays hadn’t been such a big deal until they had the kids. Then, it just seemed like something necessary… They both wanted the kids to have these moments where their family being together was made into such a big deal. 

“You ALWAYS get to open the first one!” Tommy complained as he grabbed a gift and shook it.

Oliver rolled his eyes. They’d established rules when Madelyn was younger about taking turns opening presents instead of just tearing through it all in five minutes. There was a knock at the door and he looked to Felicity. It was too early to be expecting someone. “I’ll get it,” he told her and then leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead. “You make sure there’s no peeking.”

Felicity grinned. “I’m fairly sure you tell me that I’m the worst at enforcing that rule…”

“Try,” he told her. Oliver turned away from the brightly decorated tree with all the presents under it, his children so happy sitting around it and looking through the festively wrapped gifts…and his wife sitting down between them. He was so blessed. This was what Christmas…what all of the holidays were about…

Family.

It was almost perfect.

The rest of his family would be arriving later on, they’d share Christmas dinner together and they’d exchange gifts then as well. Oliver headed to the door and just figured that maybe someone had decided to come early. He really wouldn’t be surprised. With kids, they always seemed to want to be together. 

Opening the door, Oliver stared at the man on the other side. He was familiar, but at the same time…he wasn’t. He was all smiles, a santa hat, and a really festive reindeer sweater. “Uh—“

“Today’s definitely not the day to pretend that you don’t remember who I am,” he told Oliver. “It wouldn’t hurt you to say ‘Hi Nick’ one time!” He wasn’t upset though and held up a drink carrier with coffees. “You guys still like coffee, right?” Nick didn’t even wait for his response and let himself in. “Merry Christmas everyone!”

Oliver turned around and watched Nick as he closed the door. From somewhere, Nick had produced a couple of gifts to the kids and handed one of the coffees to Felicity. He watched as the kids seemed so excited to see Nick there and Felicity talked to him like he was her best friend. He started to walk towards them when a picture caught his eye. 

On the wall was pictures of their family. There was a picture of his parents, himself, and Thea; then next to it in the same frame was a picture of Walter, his mother, and Thea while he had been on Lian Yu; the final picture was of his mother, Walter, Thea, and him before his mother had been killed. There was another picture of Felicity and her mother when Felicity was about Madelyn’s age and then one that had been taken a little over a decade before. The final frame that hung on the wall had a current picture of his family: Felicity, Tommy, Madelyn, and him. Below that on that same frame was a picture of their family plus John’s family…plus Thea’s family…plus Walter… For a moment, in that rather large picture…he saw Nick…but when he blinked…he was gone.

Turning, he looked back to the tree to find Madelyn in Felicity’s lap as they laughed while Tommy did some kind of weird dance. This was his family…this was what he remembered that at a time he thought he could never have. This was what made life worth living for…

“Oliver?”

His attention snapped to Felicity. “Are you okay?”

Madelyn moved from Felicity’s lap and ran to him, launching herself at him. Oliver picked her up, even at six she still seemed to weigh nothing to him. His smile turned quickly into a grin as he took in each one of them. “I’m MORE than okay… Today’s perfect.”

“Daddy, I get to open the first present, right?”

“Yes.”

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Christmas 2014

 

“Felicity…”

The sound of his voice was almost foreign to his own ears. It was still dark, but there was a dim light. It was VERY dim. It was only enough to illuminate the shadow that was hovering over him. He was dead, wasn’t he? If he was dead, then why was he in so much pain? Oliver knew that if there was a Heaven and Hell that with all of the blood in his ledger that he definitely belonged in the latter of the two. He’d tried his best to make amends, but maybe it just wasn’t enough. 

“Where?” 

“Don’t speak now, Son.”

“Home…”

“Soon,” the voice whispered. “Soon.”

“Thea…”

“She’s safe,” the voice promised.

“Felicity…”

“She’s safe,” the voice promised. There was a large pause before he whispered, “For now…”

If he was alive, then he needed to fight to get home. Oliver couldn’t just die there… He had told himself that he was okay if he had died there by Ra’s’ hand…but really…he wanted to go home. Oliver wanted to hug his sister and be there to protect her…he had to go home to tell Felicity that he loved her again, to hold her in his arms and kiss her, and to prove to her that he was willing to figure it out and make it work with her.

That she was worth it. 

Felicity was more than worth it.

He had to go home.

Soon.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

The End.


	2. Felicity's Ghost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is supposed to be like a post-credit-y scene (Like Marvel Movies), I hadn't planned on it being so long...but I DOUBT anyone will complain :D

Christmas 2014

 

“You okay?”

“I shouldn’t have come.”

“Don’t say that…”

Felicity had told herself that she was just going to text Diggle and tell him that she wasn’t up for Christmas dinner with him, Lyla, and Sara. They’d also invited Roy…who had invited Thea. So far, she was the only one there. It had been hard for her to deal with real life AND Arrow stuff since Oliver had left to face Ra’s al Ghul. 

“I’m horrible company,” Felicity whispered as she stared out the window.

They had lost so much this year.

Sara.

Oliver.

She still couldn’t believe either of them were gone. Tears and a sob bubbled up in her and she forced it all back down as she covered her mouth. Oliver wasn’t dead. She’d tried to tell herself that she had to accept that. No matter how hard she told herself that it would be easier if she did that, she just couldn’t. Felicity couldn’t deal. 

“You shouldn’t be alone,” Diggle told her.

Turning around to face him, she allowed some tears fall. Her voice was quiet, though, when she finally spoke up. “John, is it silly that all I keep hoping for is some kind of Christmas miracle?”

“You’re Jewish,” he reminded almost too seriously. Diggle gave her a small smile a moment later. “No. No, it’s not silly. I have a hard time believing people are dead when we don’t have their bodies as proof.” He paused for a moment. “And even then…”

“I just… I can’t accept it,” Felicity told him. “Not without seeing him…”

Did she really think she could look at his dead body?

No.

At the same time, she couldn’t function very well in the world without an answer. A definitive answer. “What do you think about me finding Nyssa?”

“You have to know, you have to know, right?” John said with a shrug. “I just need to promise me one thing.”

She knew what he wanted her to promise.

“John—“

“Promise me, you won’t go alone…”

“John—“

“Look, I don’t care if you take Roy…or if you have me go with you…” John told her firmly. “But this is not something that you can do on your own…”

She knew that.

“I don’t think I can come to the Foundry anymore,” Felicity whispered. “Not right now at least…”

“I get that.”

“Do you?”

Diggle nodded. “You know the only reason that I put on the hood is because we agreed—“

“I know,” she whispered quickly.

After Oliver had left and they hadn’t heard back from him right away, they’d all agreed that it was best to keep up appearances. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time that Diggle had dressed up as the Arrow. They were just trying to keep the dust off the suit in the meantime. 

The thing was, without knowing if Oliver was really dead or alive, Felicity felt like she was having a breakdown. Ray had noticed. He’d told her to take the holidays off. She hadn’t argued. The thing was, she really enjoyed her job with Ray. So, if she had to give up one thing for the time being…it was going to be sitting in the Foundry at the computer…staring at the salmon ladder…and trying to hide her tears from Roy and John. They were all coping and possibly even grieving in different ways…she knew that. It was still hard.

“Felicity, please…please promise me.”

A thought popped into her head. 

“Maybe Nyssa would be willing to meet me.”

“I really would rather you not go to Nanda Parbat with someone who doesn’t even know what’s going on,” John confessed. He let out a sigh. “You’re talking about Palmer, aren’t you?”

Felicity nodded.

“I saw you two the other day…”

Her mouth dropped open, the words didn’t come out though.

“I wasn’t spying or anything… I was going to bring you coffee and one of those pastries that you like,” he explained. “I got to the coffee shop and saw you two…”

She realized when he was talking about. Felicity had broken down in the office earlier that day, a day that she shouldn’t have pushed herself into going in. She hadn’t given Ray all the details, he hadn’t pushed for them, but he’d been there to hold her while she cried. He HAD offered to pay for whatever in order to either rescue the person that could be dead that she confessed loving or to find and bring home his body. They could easily go to Hong Kong on business. Felicity would feel extremely guilty for him to just waste money on her, even though she was sure that Ray would spin it someway as an investment. Going to Hong Kong had actually come up right before Oliver had left… 

“He’s a good friend,” she whispered. Felicity stared at Diggle. “He’s a good man, John. He is.”

“A friend? Huh?”

Felicity sighed. “Yes. JUST a friend.”

He still just stared at her.

“You’re giving me the same look Oliver gives me…disapproving…”

“Sorry… Just, don’t really know him and—“

“And he took Queen Consolidated…” Felicity nodded. “But trust me, John. He can be creepy because he pings my cell phone—“

“That sounds like someone I know,” he countered with a smile.

She allowed the tiniest of smiles. “He really is a good man.”

“Just…be careful, okay? And if you need me. I don’t care WHAT is going on or WHERE you are, you call me…you understand?”

Felicity nodded quickly. She knew that he absolutely meant it. “And I have Lyla’s numbers, too,” she reminded him. Felicity knew that Diggle meant well, but this was something that she felt like she needed to do without him right there with her. She felt like maybe Nyssa would give her more information than she’d give Diggle. 

They were both quiet for a long time. 

“You sure you don’t want to open your present?”

She knew that he thought that it would cheer her up, but there was something about opening up the presents under the tree or given to her that meant that they were accepting things…that they were moving on. She couldn’t do that yet. Felicity didn’t want to open hers until Oliver could be right there with her.

Maybe it was just the fact that she felt like he was alive. Maybe that was really the reason why she couldn’t let go. Felicity had really thought about this. If she’d FELT like he was gone, then she could move on even without his body being returned to them…but that’s not how she felt.

“I know that’s incredibly bah humbug of me, but—“

“I get it,” Diggle told her with a wave of his hand. 

“I think I’m going to go.”

“We haven’t even had dinner yet.”

“I just… I don’t want to ruin your holiday and I just really want to be alone tonight…”

“At least let us get you a plate to take home.”

“John—“

“I insist.”

Felicity just nodded. She took some time to say goodbye to Baby Sara before moving into the kitchen and saying her goodbyes to Lyla and then Thea and Roy as they walked in. Diggle walked her to the door and handed her the plate. “Sorry that I’m bailing…”

“It’s okay… I kind of figured,” he confided. “I’m actually a little surprised you came at all… Happily surprised, even if you’re not staying…”

She understood. 

“Thank you for the plate,” Felicity told him. 

“I could still cut you some pie…”

Felicity shook her head. “No… No… I’ll be fine.”

“If you change your mind, I could always have Roy drop by a piece on his way home.”

“Thanks, John,” she told him as she half hugged him.

“Just take care, okay? I worry about you…”

She knew he did.

“I promise,” Felicity whispered. She closed her eyes for a moment as he held her tightly. For some reason, it almost felt like saying goodbye. She really didn’t want to have to say goodbye to anyone else in her life, but for some reason it felt that way… Maybe it was just because they were saying goodbye to the year. It was close enough to the new year… 

After a moment, they separated and she walked to her car. Felicity knew he was watching, so she didn’t take her time and made sure that she locked her car once she was in. Even though it was Christmas, she knew that Ray wasn’t doing anything. Pulling out her phone after starting her car, she sent him a quick text.

 

I know you gave me time off, but I think the distraction and distance will do me good. Let’s talk tomorrow about going to Hong Kong.

 

Felicity just hoped that Ray would be okay with it and that he wouldn’t ask questions. She knew that they’d both be under guard, as it was, because of their positions in Palmer Technologies and she knew that she could arrange for the meet to take place within wherever they were staying. She just hoped that Nyssa would just meet her. For now, though, she wanted to go home and just sleep.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Her drive home wasn’t long and wasn’t eventful. Felicity’s phone had sounded with a text while she was driving, but she didn’t check it until she’d parked and was gathering her things. Ray had responded to her earlier text.

 

We’ll talk tomorrow.

 

At least it was a response. She didn’t know what to think about it, but she was certain that Ray was going to press her for ways to help her. That was tomorrow though. Felicity made her way into her town home and then just dropped things throughout her house: her purse by the door with the exception of the cell phone, her coat on the back of the couch, her heels were left at the base of her couch, her plate of food was dropped on the top shelf in the fridge. Felicity walked into her bedroom and dropped her phone on her nightstand along with her glasses. Next, she pulled out the hair tie that was keeping her hair back and up in a ponytail. She dropped it on the nightstand as well before moving to unzipping the dress she’d put on.

The red dress that she was wearing, she had hoped would brighten her mood, but it hadn’t. Dressing up had only made her feel guilty about Oliver not being there. Stepping out of the dress, she held it for a moment staring at it… Tears welled up in her eyes and she found that she was angry. Felicity really wasn’t sure WHO she was angry at. She wadded up the dress and threw it across the room. She removed her necklace and threw it in the same direction before crawling into bed and just letting the sobs overtake her. 

Oliver.

Why did she have to love him?

Why did he have to say he loved her right before he left?

She didn’t even say it back.

Why didn’t she say it back?

If any time was the best time, it was that time. Now all she was left with was regret, guilt, and unknowing. She couldn’t live like that. Felicity curled up and just let all of her emotions out. Eventually, she cried herself to sleep, curled up under her quilt.

 

 

The kisses were what woke her, followed very closely by the warmth of his naked body pressed against her, her body instantly responding. Felicity didn’t know why she wasn’t worried. She’d known instantly who it was. Maybe it was a sense or maybe it was the smell of him…or the feel of him. No matter, she’d known she was safe in his arms. Her eyes fluttered opened to see him staring back at her. He was smiling and he seemed to happy. 

“I missed you,” she blurted out.

God, how she’d missed him. 

“I told you,” Oliver told her as his hands moved to hold her face in place. “You’re not going to lose me.”

“Are you real?”

Instead of answering her question, Oliver covered her mouth with his. The kiss was long and deep and Felicity would have been content living in that moment. It seemed like every moment after was better, though, leaving her far from disappointed. Oliver’s hands removed her lacy undergarments without a problem so that their naked bodies were truly pressed together. 

Was he real?

Was THIS real?

Did it matter?

Even though the last thing on her mind was for there to be a verbal conversation, Felicity had so many questions to ask him. “I—“ 

Oliver’s lips started to move along her jaw and then down her neck. The kisses moved along her shoulder and then down to her breasts. “They’ll be plenty of time for talking…later,” he whispered before his tongue darted out to swirl around her nipple. 

No, no, it really didn’t matter.

Right now, nothing mattered except the two of them and how he was making her feel. For a moment, her mind skipped to what she knew was real…that Malcolm Merlyn had told them all that Oliver had been killed by Ra’s al Ghul. The devastation of that moment hit her, but it only hit her sharp for a moment before she was distracted once again by this dream Oliver. Felicity knew that he was alive out there…he just had to be. This might be a dream now…but one day…

Her hips lifted slightly, the left and then the right side as her whole body was hit by pleasure as he took turns sucking each nipple, his fingers playing with the other one while he worked. Between her legs seemed like she was getting not only turned on more and more by what Oliver was doing to her, but the heat kept growing. Felicity’s arms wrapped around him and she wanted him so desperately. Normally, Felicity had patience…but right now…all she wanted was to feel his body completely pressed against hers and for him to be inside of her, his hardness filling her. 

“Oliver…please…” she pleaded. 

A moan escaped her lips a moment later when his finger entered her, followed by a second and started a rhythm. His fingers were slick as they moved inside of her, his thumb moving to run over his clit. Felicity felt her body’s pleasure building and building, but that didn’t stop her wanting his length inside of her instead of his fingers. Before she could argue or plead again, his lips covered hers as his fingers’ work quickened. Her moans filled those kisses as other hand just held her close, resting along the curvature of her back. 

Her body clamped down around his fingers and her body shook as bolts of pleasure rolled through her body. Felicity wanted Oliver inside of her, she hadn’t forgotten that…even with all of the pleasure she was feeling at the moment and how sated she felt… She just needed a moment before taking action. Oliver’s fingers rested inside of her, his thumb ever so lightly still circling her clit, sending little jolts through her here and there. 

The kiss was long and interrupted multiple times as he took a moment to smile wider and enjoy it every time her body shook even minutely as bliss overtook her. “You’re beautiful,” he whispered before kissing her again. He nuzzled into her neck for a moment and she swore she heard him say that he missed her.

For a moment, her thought lingered on it.

He missed her.

Reality hit her for a brief second and tears filled her eyes.

“Hey,” Oliver whispered and held her face between his hands. He was staring at her and Felicity completely forgot why she had felt so sad. “You’re not going to lose me…”

I want to believe that.

“I know,” she whispered as her hands held his face as well, she pushed so that her lips touched his. Felicity took her time with the kiss and tried to take in every aspect of it, memorizing Oliver and the kiss…the feelings…everything. She wanted to keep it forever. 

Oliver’s hands moved down along the curve of her body, tracing lazy patterns along her skin. It was almost painful at how slow his movements were. She wanted him and she wanted him right then. Felicity was done waiting. She wanted him inside of her, she wanted the warmth of his body pressed tight against her. She wanted to feel like they were one. 

One.

She wanted him to be hers.

Always.

Forever.

Felicity really loved this man.

No matter what Oliver Queen did. No matter how much he pushed her away or pissed her off, they had a connection… When Felicity was younger, she might have thought of her college boyfriend as her soulmate…but right now, she felt like Oliver fit that more perfectly. They fought, but they always made up. They were partners. They were…they were everything to each other. Wasn’t that a soulmate? 

After a moment, Felicity saw her chance and managed to roll them so that she was on top straddling him. Oliver seemed amused. Leaning down, she planted kisses all over his face before settling on his lips for a long, long kiss that Oliver didn’t seem to want to ever end. Felicity’s hands moved along his body as she moved, caressing his skin. She moved on to kissing down the middle of his chest for a moment, slowly moving herself until his hardness was pressed tight against her thigh. The feeling of him there only made Felicity want him all the more. 

“Fe-li-city…” he ground out through gritted teeth, a half plead. His hands grabbed her and before she could make another movement, Oliver had her flipped back onto her back and her hands were held above her head. 

The tip of him was teasing her center and Felicity let out a gasp and her hips rotated forward, trying to engulf him into her hot center. “Oliver…” she pleaded. If he was planning on teasing her, this was already more than enough…and possibly already more than she could take. Before she could even get out the moan that eventually escaped from her lips, he was sliding into her. Her slickness covered his hard length as he filled and stretched her. Fingers were definitely not enough to ready her for what he would actually feel like inside of her. 

He was large.

So large.  
 When she felt like he was completely filling her, he started to move and it seemed that her body adjusted and took him even deeper (if that was possible). Felicity wasn’t complaining because just having him filling her and his hot sculpted pressed against her were absolute bliss. Moans escaped her as he thrusted in and out of her. Each time, she swore that he was deeper or hit her insides in a different way that made her body ramp up even more than before. He loosened his hold on her hands, one hand kept hold of her body while the other one moved down between them. Oliver’s fingers danced across her clit lightly, her wetness coating his fingers as he played. 

“Oliver…” she moaned as his pace quickened. He was making her feel incredibly wonderful and she wanted to add to his pleasure (well, more). Felicity forced herself to focus on her body and clamped down on his hardness. His moans filled her ears now and he slowed for a mere moment before picking the speed back up. She did it a couple more times, it was actually helping her…she was so close now. Felicity was fairly sure that he was going to climax, though, before she was and Felicity was more than okay with that. 

The feel of his body tensing against hers was apparent to Felicity and she knew what was coming. Oliver nearly stilled within her and she felt his warmth fill her. Felicity stared up at him and was content and felt oh so wonderful and oh so loved by Oliver. If this was how their night ended, Felicity was more than okay with it. 

Oliver didn’t end it there. 

He continued to thrust into her. Oliver used his hand on her lower back to press her closer to him so that he could grind against her just as his well coated finger moved from between them to below his other hand and started to wiggle its way into her. Felicity’s hips bucked forward a bit, her body almost confused by the sensation of Oliver’s body grinding against her clit and then his finger opening her in a way she hadn’t expected or been prepared for.

“Relax,” Oliver whispered as he continued.

Whenever she’d concentrate on his stray finger, he would distract her. Felicity found a moan escaping her lips as his finger started an interesting rhythm. It only took her a moment before her pleasure completely came down, crashing across her body. “Oh God! Oliver! Oh God! Mmmm…” As the bliss hit her hard, she clamped down around Oliver, and her legs tried to close, but Oliver’s body and hands wouldn’t allow it as he continued his ministrations. Her eyes shut and her back arched. Felicity’s body shuddered against her bed and his tight embrace as it coursed through her being. Oliver continued until her body relaxed completely. 

“I love you,” Oliver whispered into her ear as he held her. 

I love you.

She needed to tell him that.

She hadn’t.

I love you.

Felicity’s face nuzzled into his neck as she closed her eyes. Tears filled her eyes. This was a dream and she knew it. “Come home, Oliver…”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you,” she echoed.

Oliver pressed a hard kiss into her hair. “Find me,” he barely whispered.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget to follow me @shannyfish on twitter!

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to follow me on twitter @shannyfish


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